Step 1: Three weeks before. Buy your ticket.
Step 2: Two days before. Decide to carpool with two friends because a) you want to save time, b) you want to save gas and c) the two friends are a really good time.
Step 3: Day of the show. Have your friends Julia and Katie pick you up from work at 6:15pm, get really excited about the concert that starts at 7pm.
Step 4: Proceed to spend the next 2 hours and 45 minutes in bumper to bumper traffic on your way to Columbia Meadows, 25 miles away. Make sure you always see this out of your windshield:
Step 5: Arrive at Columbia Meadows (i.e. a big field) at 9pm right before Jack goes on. Walk your way right up close and save seats while your friends go buy you a beer.
Step 6: Enjoy said beer and enjoy the great show! During the show, make sure you take lots of photos of the stage, each time expecting them to be in focus, and each time acting surprised when they aren't. Use these as a template to follow:
Step 7: Take lots of photos of your girlfriends too. Make sure these are all self-protraits. Oh, make sure the weather doesn't cooperate so it will be super humid, kind-of rainy and cool. That way, your hair will be super frizzy and oh so hot. Photos should turn out like this one:
Step 8: Stay for the whole show, including the really fantastic encore and then head straight for the porta-potties.
Step 9: Around 11pm, head for the parking lot (i.e. big field) and spend at least 5 minutes searching for the car.
Step 10: Find said car and proceed to sit in the parking lot for two hours and 15 minutes before you finally get to drive home.
Step 11: Pick up your car at work and get home to bed at 2am.
Step 12: Get up for work at 6:30am. Hold your eyes open with toothpicks.
Step 13: Never see a show at Columbia Meadows ever again.
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