1. If your car spins out and you can't go anywhere, DO NOT pull over to the side of the road. Just abandon your car in the middle of the freeway and walk to the nearest exit/bar.
2. If you get in a small fender-bender, DO NOT pull over to the side of the road. Simply stop in the lane, get out and inspect the damage with the other driver.
3. If you are lucky enough to have tire chains in your trunk and think you need to put them on because it has snowed approximately two inches, DO NOT pull over to the side of the road. Stop in the lane, get out and take the next 45 minutes to put on your chains.
4. If there is a sudden, glorious break in the traffic, DO NOT gradually accelerate so you can be ready to stop again. Speed up as fast as you can and then slam on your brakes to stop behind the other car in front of you. If need be, swerve to the side, spin out and then abandon your car.
Oh, I'm sorry, I might need to explain my tone: we had a surprise afternoon snowstorm on Tuesday. It took me almost 4 hours to cover my normal 40 minute commute. Arrgh.
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