Dude, this tent is only $12!

As many know, I work full time 9 to 5 at the Portland Opera in the marketing department. I also work about 12 hours a week at REI. REI is a great store. We sell everything a camper/hiker/climber/cyclist/paddler would need to have an adventure. REI is also still a co-op so members actually get money back each year on their purchases. But the best part of REI is a little thing called "the used gear sale."

You see, REI has the most lenient return policy ever. 100% satisfaction. You can bring anything back. Let's say that you buy a pair of hiking boots. You hike for 5 years in them, you love them, they fit your feet perfectly. But, one day, your boot leaks just a bit and your sock gets wet. You are perfectly justified in returning them to the store. People do this all the time. ALL THE TIME. So, what do we do with all the returned stuff? We sell it again at a "used gear sale."

Four Saturdays a year, all this returned stuff gets marked down to unbelievable prices and laid out on tables in the parking lot. You'll find perfectly good things that might have only been worn once or things that have been basically worn out. It's a complete gamble, but so, so worth it. These sales are so popular, people camp out the night before in the parking lot so they can be first in line.

What makes them so enjoyable to me is getting to work the during the sale. People stream in from the parking lot with their hands full of treasures, trying to find the nearest salesperson to ask them if "the hole in this tent is really going to matter" or if "these trekking poles will still collapse if one section is bent?" I love these questions, because what you really want to say is "Please don't waste your money and just buy something new!" but you find yourself caught up the atmosphere and suddenly you are frantically special-ordering parts or digging through boxes in the warehouse.

Sometimes though, these people can't be helped. Yesterday, a guy came up to me with a bike lock from the sale. It was a U-lock and it had a combination on it instead of the usual key. It was unlocked, in two pieces and priced at $11.83.

Guy: "How can I find out the combination on this lock?"
Me, looking at him like he was crazy: "It's a combination. I have no idea."
Guy: "Do you have a book or something you could look it up in?"
Me, in my head of-course: Sure! Of-course we do! I have a magical book in the back that tells the combinations to every bike lock! Let's go steal some bikes together and sell them on Ebay!
Me, out loud: "You know what, you can buy a brand new lock for only $20."
Guy: "Well, I guess, if that's the only option. This is just such a good deal."

Seriously, are you kidding me?